those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we should paint friendship bongs
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
