bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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