So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
