To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
