I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize