Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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