Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
