So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
