Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
