never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
