they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Randomize
