I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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