i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
