I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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