I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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