somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Me too!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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