she woke up with a sticky ear
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
