never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize