So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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