Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
