wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
