just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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