dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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