I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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