Got a toothbrush?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
