All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
