I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he fucked my hip out of place.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
