Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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