You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
