Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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