I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Randomize
