Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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