puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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