I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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