So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize