Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
