So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
where am i from again
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I party with great urgency now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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