Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
