Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I skipped work to stalk him.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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