so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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