I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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