He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
