No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
