Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize