Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
