why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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