Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
