At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
