He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
