I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
