I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
