Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
