then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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