The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
