happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
