i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
