oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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