how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
