he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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