Say something about gay babies.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
