dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
BRING THE BAGELS
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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