nut hugger
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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