the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Of course I have a pirate flag
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
