Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
