I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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